A Long Weekend in the Life: The L.A. Trip (Part I)
Wednesday, July 3rd:
9 am: Catch cab to JFK. Driver somehow confuses “Visiting a friend in Los Angeles” with “Going to visit family in Pakistan”. Driver seems disappointed I’m not visiting Pakistan. He is projecting.
next 5 hours: En route to LAX. Uneventful. Uneventful always good. First aisle seat ever in life. Not the last. That’s a flight game-changer.
2:37: I made it to California. California knows how to party.
4:00: Drop off bags at best friend Callie’s condo in Santa Monica. Natural light. Wood floors. Lots of plants that aren’t dead. It looks so California. I love it.
5:00: Happy hour dinner with Callie and husband Nile in hip hotel restaurant called FIG. Valet park. Naturally. Half off everything but steak from 5-6. Giddy-up. I drink this:
It’s called “War and Peas”. Made with sugar snap pea vodka, mint syrup and ginger, with a skewer of crispy prosciutto on top. Not the tastiest cocktail ever, probably the ugliest, definitely the most interesting. Our view is a sparkling pool and palm trees. La-la Land.
6:05: Big boob-job alert.
6:30: Nile chooses “Plate of Warm Cookies” for shared dessert. Well played, sir. Thankful none made with sugar snap peas.
7:00: Nile goes for evening bike ride; girls shop Santa Monica Promenade. I spot a $30 Zara trench and Molly Ringwald.
Thursday: July 4th
7:00: Up before everyone else since I’m on NY time. Relax on Callie’s porch, hanging with the succulents. It is sooo quiet here.
10:30: Take Callie’s dog Clancy for morning walk. It goes like this:
10;30: I decide I’ll be living on the other side of this door. Yes. This will do just fine.
11:00: A tall, beautiful woman flashes her best “Welcome to California” smile. We’re 97% sure it’s Brooke Shields.
1:00: Lunch on the patio at “The Rose”. Holy fish taco heaven.
2:30: Walk to Venice Beach.
2:45: I buy some cool street art from this fellow. And then we do some people watching. It’s like whoa.
Real Time: You probably knew that already.
4:00: Back to Callie and Nile’s place. Fire up the bbq. Skirt steak, chicken, salad, baked potato. Righteous meal. Callie notes that she has done her American duty by putting something on a grill today. I salute her.
8:30: We hop in the car and head to Sweet Rose Creamery for ice cream. Callie goes horchata (yum!), Nile picks mint chocolate chip; I go with salted caramel. Ice cream dude asks if I want it in a chocolate waffle cone.
Him: “No worries”.
He asks if I want salt sprinkled on top.
Him: “Right answer.”
Me: ”Thank you.”
Him: “No worries.”
I take my first lick.
9:00: We walk down the street to catch a few fireworks. We had a hard time deciding where to go, but managed to catch a few colorful blasts. God bless ‘Merica.
9:35: Walk back to the condo. A distinguished gentleman stops short about 2 feet in front of me. Rips a cacaphony of farts. It sounds like fireworks. A few colorful blasts.
Happy 4th of July from L.A.